confusion

I can be me around him, and that's what gets me the most.It wasn't pose to be like this, but shit now we gettin close.He kiss these lips like they his, i kiss his like they mine...He callin everyday...n spendin hella time.He all up under me, just like i want him to beBut yet he still aint claimin me, so what could his reason be?He either skept but into me, or he could be usin me...And tho i'm kinda scared, i'm just gone wait and see. I just cant see him tryna use me...i aint got shit...Plus his swagg is off the chain, and his ego kinda big...He got me buggin B, like well damn....whats wrong wit me?Feelin like im owned but at the same time i'm still free.He got shit goin on, but i hope it wont be longBefore his problems gone and he come up out this zone...I'ma try to stick it out cause i know what stress's aboutBut sometimes i sit n pout, cause my mind is full of doubt.I need some patience tho, cause I just wanna let goBut i wanna let him know, REAL TALK i'm here for him, fa shoThen he zone me out again...and i feel my heart backinOut of it like "girl...F*** HIM", cause myself i'm protectin....I'm so confused it hurts. Tryna see if its really worthTryna fly but bite the dirt, all on somebody else turf.Seem like he want me here, but he actin so damn scared?I aint said lets go get married, just tryna show i'm carinIs he nervous to take it there? Or do he even care?His mind is so out there....but is his heart anywhere near?I always seem to get into, things i wish i wouldnt doGuess thats how you live n learn, gotta just let that shit burn.I'ma ride it till the end, cause i know its gonna end. But i'm happy i met him, just thinkin of him makes me grin.Damn it this should be a sin, I dont like to be played witI wish i knew how this would end, so my heart aint left open.I'm his friend, its complicated. But i want him so much i hate it.I dont need no more best friends...i just really need a man.So will he be it? stay and post? or will he fall off n get ghostThat seems to be the case about the ones i want the most. I probably just need to back up, step back behind the glass...Dont wanna let my hopes get high n then get knocked back on my ass.He's my buddy, i'm his friend. Let me remind myself again.I think i need to not kiss him, cause i just melt right into him.I dont want him to pretend, just to keep me cool with him.He's my buddy, i'm his friend. Let me remind myself again......snap myself back to reality....n let me quit trippin........