the tru color of JADE.

THEY ALWAYS SAY DON'T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER RIGHT…? You are a reflection of your actions true? Hmm… ....
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....I AM A DREAMER. I daydream all day long. Literally. It helps get me through my day. I've always been this way. I day dream about things that have happened that I enjoyed, with people who I adore….I daydream about things that I want to happen, and things that will probably NEVER happen. I Admit. Maybe I live in a fantasy world. When I was a teenager, I use to write a lot more than I do now. I wrote a lot of stories. I would make up characters that I wanted to be for a day, and men that were perfect, and just make the perfect story. I still have some on an old computer disk somewhere. Lol. But it is a part of me. It eases my mind but when reality hits, it hits like a cold bag of ice. I always get knocked upside the head with the truth like HELLO…COME BACK TO EARTH JADE. I am a very shy person. Some girls yearn for attention, love making a scene, love to step out, love to be outgoing and loud, and HOT. I, on the other hand, enjoy that sometimes. For the most part, I like to keep to myself (and my friends). I don't like big crowds foreal. I always see somebody I know, or don't like. I don't like walkin down the street and niggas howlin. If they pick the right day, it may boost your self esteem, but I just rather go about my biz, and not be noticed sometimes. I don't always like the spotlight on me. I'm really not stuck up, people mistake my shyness for I think I'm better than you. I truly do try to get along with everybody, even though I don't with most females. Because they are that type. I just try to live my life. And every morning I wake up, I tell myself today will be better than yesterday, and maybe my fantasies will come true. Ha. I know its silly, but everybody has their own little tweeks and twerks that makes their life work. I'm just a content girly girl, I believe in looking my best everyday. I rarely get seen looking a mess. (And if you got highschool pics from me looking a mess, please BURN THEM). I like wearin makeup. Not that I NEED IT. I don't. Its just that extra thing that brings that EXTRA POLISHED look, and brings that sexy out. People like "Go without your makeup I wanna see what you look like." That cracks me up. I still look like me. I just like makeup. I like my hair big, and curly. I like wearing flashy jewelry. I like big flashy purses. I like dying my hair and switching my look completely. Its just a part of my own personal creativity. I like all the girly stuff that was made for girls. If you lived with me, you would see me underneath it all. I'm not hiding. I'm simply expressing myself. Like you do when you tattoo your body. Only makeup washes off. I love men. They are the objects of my fantasies. LOL. That don't mean I run through them like most chics. For the most part, if I see somebody I like, I can be satisfied with knowing that I could have him, and FANTASIZE about it, and never act on it. Ha I know ya probably like she crazy, but im honest. I'm tired of people looking at me and judging me. Thinking I GO HARD, or niggas thinking they can get me to spend and do whatever they want. Now that cracks me up. Only one man in my life had me gone over him. And he snatched me up YOUNG. And even for him, I had limits. But to think back, he never even asked for too much. He never wanted me to do things that would corrupt my spirit, or things I would feel terrible about. I thought he aint care back then. Now I KNOW…HE CARED THE MOST. To this day, I don't hear nothing about him. EVER. People that I have only DEALT WITH not BEEN with, have wanted more than he ever did. BUT BACK TO ME…….. I know my dad's eyes will bulge at this, so HIT BACKSPACE NOW….but I love sex. Who don't? Its one of the most deadliest sins. People actually die from this thing that makes you feel like you are on another planet. I love sex, but I love more, the connection. I love to be wanted. I love to be desired, I love to be controlled, haha, I love how it feels, but I love the fantasy side of it. I don't like after, when you come down off of your high, the reality that it has side effects. You may or may not get pregnant, you may or may not get feelings, and get stuck with someone you don't really even want to get stuck with, or maybe even someone you don't even know. You may or may not get burnt. You may or may not DIE. YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KILL SOMEBODY ELSE. How bout that. I've had my share of MISTAKES. Thank GOD, my body is still fine n dandy. But when you fantasize, see you can avoid all this….haha. I'm just getting to the point in my life that I know I deserve much more than I have allowed myself. I should never have to settle. Things that are so bad, so naughty, always make you wanna go for it… And a lot of times I have. And I have paid for it. I get my feelings hurt all the time. But how can I be mad at someone else for doing what they were tempted to do, when I did the same thing? People never want to believe they hurt feelings. I never want to believe I hurt somebody's feelings, im not even that type. I'm not malicious. But maybe neither was HE… maybe he don't wanna believe he hurt feelings either. He never meant to, he just living his life…. Nothing is owed to anybody…RIGHT? One friend told me my feelings are strong but fragile….I could never doubt that. He hit the nail on the head. But the rest of the nails, he missed. See I have always been MISJUDGED. Most women are. I have been mistaken for a lot of things I am not. And me falling into the temptations that I have, has made it seem even more that I am something I am not. There's more to me than the outside appearance, the front that I put on (like the rest of the world), more to me than my liking for bad things, and cuss words. (sorry fam). But I can only be who I can be. Everybody, please meet JADE…..