single...why?

So ok....

Dudes be askin me all the time why am i single. I say cause i dont wanna settle. Seems like a simple answer right....But it the truth. Not like i'ma rookie to relationships or men, or shall i say "boys" (cause i am a rookie to MEN) but i've developed this fear since the last relationship.....it was kinda devastating. You know girls get crushed easy, and we hold on to emotions, and all that girly shit. Well, i cant even really say i ever got over it, but i've got this fear of opening up to somebody again, and it happening all over again. Some say thats life. You live n learn. Well, i lived it for 6 years, and i learned already, i dont need 3 repeats of the situation. So there are things that i wont settle for. We can be cool, or kick it sometimes, but if i dont make you my man, and you wanna be...there is a reason. Maybe a few reasons. Forgive me for bein rude or if you get offended im sorry, but this is mySPACE, my BLOG, my FEELINGS. I dont need no broke ass nigga. I dont wanna have to pick you up everytime we do somethin, and pay for shit. I been there done that, shit gets old and annoying. I'ma girl, i wanna be picked up n drove around n paid for. I dont need a nigga that wanna live n die n the streets. Ok so you hustle. Its not a big deal if you doin other things to work toward bigger goals, and you know you wont be doin it forever. Nobody's perfect and thats understandable. If you say f*ck school, f*ck work, f*ck err thing, and you just sit around smoke, drink, and mooch off people....um we can just be friends. Them type a niggas look at me lookin fly, see me roll up in my whip n think "cha-ching"....uh naw homie. Not gone happen. I use to have a weakness for hood niggas. I still think its sexy most times, not all the time, but i'm grown now. No hood ass nigga that dont do nothin wit his life can ever be husband material. A few of my friends have opened my eyes to what some chics call the "lames". Hmm. them lames be poppin. They got it together. The boys in highschool that had they minds in the books instead of on hoes, done grew up, got sexier, and got everything goin for them....Alot to offer, stop playin. I just ran into somebody i knew from highschool at work, interviewing for residency. yeah MD status. Somebody i aint look twice at in highschool. But he remembered me... I dont need no woman beater. No woman wants to have to walk on egg shells in her own house worryin if she gone get choked up. Been there done that. That shit aint fun. Makes you stoop to levels lower than you thought you could go. Doin things in defense that could potentially ruin your life, or take his. Or you just sit around and take it. Live in fear, as it gets worse n worse. Foreal tho, what kinda man beats his girl. WHAT MAN BEATS GIRLS. I dont need a "known whore". Nuff said. I've had enough of them nights sittin waiting on a nigga to come home, yo chest heavy cant quit cryin, cant breathe, cant sleep, nauseated, dont know what to do cause you know what he out there doin. Women got a 6th sense for it. Regardless of what men believe. May think yo girl is naive. Naw, she know. She might just be ignoring it to protect her own heart, keep things cool, or just in denial. But she know. Everytime you touchin somethin that aint her....Her stomach turns. MM hmm. I dont want somebody that is immature. You have to handle business. If ya record aint perfect, at least try to get it together...And last but not least I dont want no feminine ass nigga. Thats like (excuse my language fam) a dike with a dildo. I like men. I like MANLY men. I dont want my ass kicked, but a man that know how to put his foot down, but respectably. Correct me if i'm wrong, but with love. Guide me the right way if i'm fallin short on somethin.... Not no whinin ass nigga. That is so annoying. I dont like men that beg. That is a turn off.
So this, mi amigo's, is why i'm still single. Its been 2 good long years...And it will be 2 good long more if somebody falls short. Even though i wasnt raised with the values of a wise woman who taught self respect, somehow they came from somewhere....I've done things that im not proud of, and i wouldnt necessarily call self respect, but that is life. Regardless if i fall short, the values are still there, and I refuse to commit to anotha nigga that will do me as wrong as the first. I am not a toilet, and i will not be shit on......
Comments welcome.

~Red