Untitled 2

It started off like "Damn, he so cute, and I know he got hoes...
But i dont care, it wont go that far...this will be fun
its so wrong in so many ways
But its callin...and he's calling my name
Before i know it i'm wrapped up
Twisted in a blanket of emotion
Cant see clearly, talkin jibberish....
Don't even know myself what I'm sayin at times....
I'm tryna be cool, I wanna be cool....
I wanna be who I was....
I want it to be back FUN.....
But the feelings have already begun.....
How I hate that word now....
it sounds so weak and unstable....
so needy, so feeble....
so attached, so unwilling….....
Oh my, what have I done?....
And now I'm hurt by my own mistake....
expecting him to accommodate....
my new found emotion....
cause its "his fault I'm open"
What did he do to me??....
And how do I get rid of it?....
How do I get rid of him?....
He's really just being him…....
N I'm really just wanting him…....
But I really cant have him.....
So tell me can I blame him?....
I knew how he was ....
from the very first "what up"
Tho I tried to be tough....
I've done grew some love…....
Denying to myself like hell naw, that's too much....
Like JADE, what the F*CK??....
I'm so much smarter than this.....
Perhaps I'm just trippin....
Cause how I be flippin....
enabling his pimpin....
Then tell him I'm dippin....
he like "Here she go again…"
So frustrated with it....
I wish I could kill it....
I don't want this feeling....
I need a clear head….....
But its all in the things he said…....
How he put all these things in my mind....
Over decent amount of time....
How I opened myself to his life….style....
man what a big mistake....
Such ugliness starting to shape....
Wonder why he don't like me the same…....
cause he's now thinkin that I'M INSANE.....
Even I cant get hold of my brain…....
What am I to do now? ....
What am I to do…….....
Worse thing I could ever do….....
I wish it would just go away.....